Tagged: You can't spell Badenhop without…

You Can’t Spell Badenhop without B A

ToldYouSo.jpgWe at HLD&S simply hate to say I told you so.

Oh, who are we kidding? We LOVE to say I told you so! Especially considering the fact that we get the opportunity so infrequently, seeing as we’re wrong about 98.87% of the time. 
A few thoughts on last night’s game:
1) Emilio Bonifacio, good job going 0-for-5, and complementing your stellar offensive efforts by missing that squeeze sign. Here’s the deal. Since the Marlins seem pretty much hell-bent on leaving you in the lineup majors, I am going to need for you to sustain an injury of some kind, please. Thanks. 
2) Hey Nunez and Lindstrom, let’s try a teensy bit harder to give me a heart attack next time, K?
3) Badenhop was better than Graham Taylor, John Kornoka or Hayden Penn in any one of their six starts. Not only did The Hopper hold the Phillies to just one run, he went five innings, which was more than the Fish were expecting of him. Do I think Hop is the next Cy Young? No. Do I like him out of the bullpen? Yes. But given the circumstances (starters dropping like flies to the DL and/or minors), I think Badenhop should have been one of the Marlins first choices for a replacement. And that is all. (For now. Obviously, I will continue to beat this deceased horse until its body has decomposed and bones have turned to dust. But I’ll take, like, a small break for now.)
Is it just me, or have the Marlins won three of their last four? 

Hope, You’re Up.

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HLD&S has long championed the cause of Burke H. Badenhop for starting rotation, and at last the Marlins middle reliever will get a go at it. 
Nothing says “we believe in you, Burke” like waiting until you’ve used every other possible option before giving him a chance.
With this move it has become clear that the Marlins do indeed read HLD&S before making decisions, and are finally taking our advice, giving Hopper the nod in the rubber match today against Philadelphia. OK, they’re not as much taking our advice as they’re sighing in resignation, having exhausted every other possibility but converting Matt Lindstrom or a batting helmet to starter, and are throwing up their hands in an “ok, fine, you can start” sort of manner. But we’ll take it.
While some may view Badenhop as the team’s last resort, I prefer to view Burke in more of a “saving the best for last” kind of light. (Come on, people. Before you scoff, keep in mind that being the best amongst Taylor, Koronka and Penn is not too tall an order).
Now, when HLD&S champions the cause of a player, what typically happens is that he proceeds to suck real bad, having six or more of the worst appearances of his entire life. I’m keeping my fingers crossed, though, for a nice, quality five innings from The Hopper. I figure if he can give up fewer than 8 runs in two innings, he’s already doing better than our “number one” starter, so there’s that.
A couple things to look for from Badenhop today as he faces the Philths:
1) some ground ball outs
2) a super neat nickname
3) actual hopping on the mound to complement said nickname
4) the ability to lay down a bunt
5) a complete game shut out (ok, sorry. got a little carried away there.)
You’re up, Hopper. Make us look smart, please.

You Can’t Spell Burke Heinrich Badenhop without BURNED PEN

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I guess our boys decided that two games in one night wasn’t quite exhausting enough, so they opted to go for extras yesterday in game two of the doubleheader against Arizona. Around the tenth inning I gave up trying to force my eyelids to stay open, and woke up this morning half expecting the game to still be going on. Instead, I was greeted with news of the Marlins’ the 13-inning loss to the D-Backs. Sweet.
Hayden Penn made his first start for the Fish (and first since 2006) and did his best John Koronka impersonation, lasting just 2 2/3 innings and giving up a 4-0 lead. Enter The Hopper. Badenhop pitched 3 2/3 scoreless innings in relief of Penn, contributed his first major league RBI on a squeeze bunt, and handed over a 3-run lead with one out in the seventh. One can never get too excited about a lead that is less than 17 runs, though– not when Renyel Pinto is just a call to the bullpen away… Enter Renyel, exit ball from park, hello tie game. 
Two blown saves from Pinto in two days. That is just really good stuff.
Some other things happened after that, I think, but to be honest the fires of infuriation have incinerated it all from my memory. I don’t know if it was caused by our criminally overworked bullpen being trotted out one by one as lambs to the slaughter, our inability to do anything but ground into double plays in bases-loaded, no out situations, or Justin Upton and his insistence on hitting home runs in every at-bat. But I do know that the game lasted almost five hours, and that the Marlins were forced to use everything that wasn’t nailed to the bullpen to pitch in the 13-inning affair. 
Four relievers that had already put in a night’s work during game one had to be called on once again in the second game of the night, which puts us in an incredibly awesome situation this evening as Andrew Miller takes the mound. You know, seeing as he normally doesn’t like to toss more than five innings, and our relievers threw about 80 pitches apiece yesterday.
Memo to Miller: Cody Ross is the only arm that’s available until Memorial Day. I hope that fact is enough to scare a quality start out of you. we need a complete game, Andrew. But we’ll settle for 7+ innings. Pretty please. (And happy birthday.)
EDIT: from Juan Rodriguez via Twitter: Marlins recall LHP David Davidson, select RHP Cristhian Martinez, option OF Alejandro De Aza, DL Alfredo Amezaga.

You can’t spell Badenhop without N-A-P

power_nap_2.jpgA row of diehard Reds fans in the bullpen box abandoned their heckling and heartily rooted for the home team in the bottom of the 14th inning last night at Dolphin. Seems any sense of loyalty to Cincinnati dissipated around the same time their beer buzz wore off– five innings earlier, when a normal game is supposed to be over.

“Just score. Somebody. Anybody. Get us the **** out of here.” 
Not exactly as heartwarming a conversion to Fish fan-dom as Regis Philbin’s, but hey; we’ll take fans any way we can get them. (Last night we got them as a result of severe posterior distress via four-and-a-half hours in hard plastic orange seats.) 
My third Josh Johnson start at Dolphin went pretty much as expected, with JJ doing his level best to earn a W, and the offense doing its level best to extend the Marlins’ starters winless streak to 17 games. Hats off to the bullpen, which battled through seven innings to give the Marlins every chance to snap their three-game skid. In the end, all the heart and heroics of a lousy throw to first clinched the victory for the Fish, who won 3-2 on a walk-off error. 
Johnson cruised, Hanley crushed, and Cantu grounded into the game-winning double play (sort of). But in the end, after three scoreless innings in relief, it was Burke Badenhop who earned a write-in on my All-Star ballot, for making it totally worth it to head to work on three hours of sleep today.

You can’t spell Badenhop without H-O-P-E

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Um, you can’t spell it without B-A-D, either, but let’s just move on from that. 

The Fish have just been swept by the Pirates. The time to panic be real annoyed is now. What can we learn from this series in Pittsburgh?  That PNC Park is to the Marlins record as Jamie Moyer is to the team’s batting average. Good riddance, Pittsburgh.

And now on to the real meat and potatoes of this post. It seems the powers that be have completely ignored my bold declaration of Badenhop‘s rightful place in the starting rotation (see yesterday’s blog), and are actually, like, tossing around some other ideas. Seriously, people? We all know that Burke should start Sunday. Let’s look at the facts:
  1. With a name like Penn, it is a given that you should be pitching in relief. Embrace your destiny, Hayden
  2. If Badenhop doesn’t get the number 5 spot, there will be at least an 88.6% droppage in the amount of times we get to hear and/or read the name “Burke Badenhop.” It’s a fun name. Even if he stinks real bad, there’s that. And let’s not forget Badenhop’s many derivatives. Hopper, Hoppie, Hop? Come on. What do they call Dan Meyer or Sean West for short? Nothing that fun, I assure you.
  3. Dan Meyer is one of the few dudes in the bullpen right now who doesn’t make me want to gouge my own eyeballs out with a fork. Let’s just keep that going, shall we?
  4. Badenhop’s name appears first on the Marlins pitching roster. Coincidence? I think not. Unless you take the fact that they are listed alphabetically into consideration, which I don’t, since that does nothing to help my argument.
Well, it’s not as fancy as an actual pitching analysis complete with complicated decimal points, percentages, and squiggly red lines (which longtime readers of HLD&S have come to expect from this blog), but I think my argument in favor of Badenhop making the rotation is a solid one. 
HLD&S OFFICIAL POSITION: BADENHOP FOR STARTING RO!*
*position subject to change pending performance Sunday.