In other late-breaking news, the Marlins and Ricky Nolasco won game two against the Orioles, extended the team’s winning streak to four games, and are a game over .500.
- Volstad essentially owned through seven innings, giving up only two runs on three hits while striking out five and walking nobody.
- Marshall shut out the Fish through six.
- Cantu continued his “G”age with yet another long ball in the seventh, his third home run in as many games.
- Tied up in the top of the ninth, Kevin Gregg came in and pitched the inning a lot better for the Cubs than I can ever remember him doing for us. (Thanks, Kev.)
- The Fish scored six runs off of Aaron Heilman in the 10th, thanks to the continued G-ness of Jorge Cantu (aka a 3-run double), a lovely squeeze play and some other stuff (who needs a box score when you’ve got HLD&S?).
- Nunez closed the deal. Fish win 8-2.
It’s nice to know that Kevin Gregg is concerned about our health. It really is. I think it is splendid that our closer has gone above and beyond (i.e. swallowing his pride and allowing the world to see that he reads on a 3rd-grade level, and is mildly autistic) to ensure that none of us will perish from a tobacco-related illness.
Yes, Gregg’s work with the Tobacco-Free Florida campaign is commendable. Unfortunately, for every life Kevin has spared from a slow, agonizing death from lung cancer, he has caused a dozen or so due to his less-than-valiant efforts on the mound.
The American Heart Association just called, Kev. They’d like you to retire.
According to new research (research being the statistics that sound the most convincing once I make them up in my head), heart attacks, strokes, and other myocardial episodes increase by about 98.76% in South Florida each and every time our dear closer takes the mound. He doesn’t even have to throw a pitch–the mere sight of Gregg exiting the bullpen is enough to send our blood pressure skyrocketing, and our chests constricting.
Note to our closer: Walk-off grand slams = cool. Closing games respectably in the top of the ninth to avoid making said walk-off a necessity = much cooler.
In closing (pun intended), I would like to say…Joe Nelson. Just putting it out there.