The Marlins are trying to kill us.

gaby pine copy.jpgFish fans all over the world danced through the streets Tuesday, shedding tears of joy and relief at the news the Marlins had at last called up third baseman Gaby Sanchez from Triple-A New Orleans. 

Not that Sanchez is the surefire answer to all or any of the Marlins offensive woes, but fans have been excited to see what Gaby can do, and more importantly, if he can do it better (if slightly slower) than Emilio Bonifacio.

The relief and joy were short-lived.
Quickly after the news of the call-up, Fredi Gonzalez announced to the media that he would use Gaby “as a pinch-hitter…[blah blah blah]…here and there…[blah blah blah].” 
Allow me to translate: 
Bonerface isn’t going anywhere, people. For reasons no sane person will ever understand, we are still wildly enamored with Emilio, and he is staying put at third base. Meanwhile, we fully intend to use Gaby Sanchez in much the same way that we used Brett Carroll earlier this season– as pine ornamentation.”
As easy as he is on the eyes, Marlins, I think I speak for all Fish fans when I say, that is not what we had in mind.
Like everyone else, I’m struggling to understand why Gaby was called up at all. He’s not here to start. He’s not here to platoon with Bonifacio. And if his role is really going to be off the bench, the question is why? Why call up Sanchez to use him in a role that is typically far better suited to veteran hitters, which we already have in Helms and Gload? 
Have we learned nothing from Brett Carroll? 
The same thing was done to Brett earlier in the season when the Marlins dubbed him Keeper of the Bench, using him as a defensive specialist and a pinch hitter “here and there.” Nobody got to see what Brett was capable of offensively because he was getting roughly one at-bat per month. Fredi even admitted that it wasn’t fair that they hardly used him, and when they finally started putting him in the lineup, Brett produced. And now they’re going the same ride-the-pine route with Gaby Sanchez.
If Gaby’s not going to play, then why is he here? Honestly, I can only come up with one thing: The Marlins are trying to torture us to death. Because impossible as it may seem, they have actually figured out a way to make The Bonifacio Experiment even more excruciating for fans to endure. Now, not only do we have to deal with watching Emilio be…Emilio, we have to be teased mercilessly by the presence of Gaby Sanchez, sitting so invitingly mere yards away, yet having no chance to prove that maybe, just maybe, he could be an improvement over Speedy the Out Machine.
I think I finally have an idea what it must be like to die of thirst when lost at sea, surrounded by billions of gallons of water.
Enjoy the pain, Fish fans. I have a feeling it’s here to stay.
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3 comments

  1. raysfanboy

    Interesting translation of Bonifacio’s last name! Ha! I thought you guys like Emilio. Electric and fast, was what I read early in the season when he was stealing everything in sight. Ah, the fall from grace. I agree that it makes no sense to call somebody up only to put them on the bench. Leave ’em in AAA and let them get at bats. Makes no sense.
    http://raysfanboy.mlblogs.com/

  2. miramarjuice

    I’m still waiting for the first Gaby sighting. I was listening to 790 after the game yesterday and the host had me laughing when he said “I’m glad they finally called Gaby up. He’s riding the bench really good right now. I’m really glad they called him up.”

  3. gamefish08

    raysfanboy – The translation came from another Fish fan (Thanks, Dan). He said it, and it stuck. As for Bonifacio, subtract the first week of the season, and take a look at his numbers. Those stats are what fans are ripping their hair out over. Speed is great once the dude’s on base. Unfortunately, that happens a little too infrequently.

    miramarjuice – Look in the dugout.

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