When I Snap My Fingers, You Will Wake Up and Stop Sucking…

bonerfacehypnotism.jpgEmilio Bonifacio, you are getting verrrrrrrry sleeeeepy. You are reverting back to the first week of the 2009 season, when it looked as though you sort of knew how to play baseball. You are remembering how to hit the ball– somewhere other than into the glove of a waiting fielder. You are bunting for base hits. You are batting .485 with an OBP of .899 (give or take). You are stealing multiple bases per game. You are not getting picked off of said bases due to real bad base running. You are not missing squeeze signs or failing to throw out runners with the speed of one-legged turtles. You are not striking out repeatedly. You are not having your third oh-fer in a row. You are not sucking. I repeat, you are not sucking. *snap*

Seeing Bonifacio’s name once again at the top of tonight’s lineup against the Mets, and considering how he’s been playing, it would seem that perhaps my hypnotic efforts should be directed elsewhere. Seriously, Marlins. NEXT IDEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(And now that I have publicly complained about Bones, we can expect him to go 4-for-4 with several stolen bases and maybe a home run tonight at Citi Field. You’re welcome, Fish fans.) 
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