Multiple NOs followed by exclamation marks are what you will typically hear me shouting during Marlins’ games these days, but thanks to a hyphen and a Cody Ross, yesterday the shouting took on an attitude of joy for a change.
First things first.
I was full of confidence as John Koronka took the mound for Florida in the final game of their series with LA yesterday afternoon at Land Shark Stadium. Mostly I was thinking to myself, “gosh, it’s a good thing the Marlins don’t read this blog for advice, otherwise Burke Badenhop would be starting right now instead of this beastly lefty who will more than likely pitch real great today.”
I am shocked. Simply shocked things didn’t turn out that way.
On a day we needed our starter to go deep into the game, Koronka delivered a solid 2 2/3 innings. Yeah. The box score will tell you he earned only four of the six runs he allowed, but the HLD&Score will tell you that John actually earned every single run fair and square, thanks to his own awful fielding.
While Koronka worked on getting himself designated for assignment, Dodgers lefty Clayton Kershaw decided to get cute and toss a no-hitter through seven innings, making for just an extremely enjoyable afternoon overall for Fish fans.
Heading into the bottom of the eighth inning hitless and down 11-0, I consoled myself with the fact that the last time the Marlins were getting blown out this bad at home, we got to watch Cody Ross pitch an inning in relief. Maybe Cody would take the mound again and give us something to smile about as the Fish sank to fourth place in the NL East.
Well, he didn’t end up on the mound, but Cody did treat us to both of the only things we had to cheer about all game long. First, everybody’s favorite former rodeo clown busted up the no-hitter with a double to lead off the eighth inning. Then, just for effect, Cody added a grand slam in the bottom of the ninth, solidifying his role as in-blowout entertainment. And the hot, angry, frustrated crowd goes wild.
I think it was fitting that the former Dodger would be the one to dash Kershaw’s no-hit hopes (and geez, probably save the kid’s arm so he could, like, use it again sometime).
Oh, and by the way, Koronka has been designated for assignment. Seems the Marlins are suddenly keen on not calling up real bad bad pitchers simply because they are left-handed, and are instead flirting with the idea of starting [lowly right-handed dudes] Penn or Badenhop in the newly vacated spot in the rotation. Gosh, what a crazy idea I hadn’t thought of before. So crazy it just might work.