As the Tables Turn

"They hate us more than any team in baseball. Right now, we’re their favorite team."
~Cody Ross, Marlins Outfielder

Mars_venusThe chorus of Cher’s late-80’s hit "If I Could Turn Back Time" wafted through the clubhouse this afternoon as the Fish prepared for their upcoming series against the Mets.

"It’s from a mixtape Chase Utley just sent me," Scott Olsen said as Alfredo–always one to get into the spirit of things–danced cheek-to-cheek with assistant trainer Mike Kozak.

There has been an eerie shift in the Marlins’ universe of late, and the music isn’t all that has changed. Deliveries of flowers, chocolates, and giant teddy bears have streamed into the clubhouse since last week, and nearly every inch of space is covered with cards, boxes of Godiva candies, and bouquets of roses.

"It’s standing room only in here," said Dontrelle Willis, sidestepping a pile of heart-shaped boxes, "Uh, hold on. I just got another text message from Barajas. Please please please forgive me, Mr. Willis. Pretty please, with a cherry on top. Love, Rod."

So who has suddenly got it bad for the Fish? None other than our sniveling NL East rivals, the Philadelphia Phillies.

Scott_mixtape_2 It’s no secret that there has been little love lost between the Phillies and Marlins over the past several seasons, so why the sudden turn-around? To put it very simply, the Phillies are 2.5 games behind the Mets in the division. If the Marlins can manage to play half-decent baseball over the next ten days, the Phillies’ chances of making the post-season will greatly increase. So for this week at least, the Fish are Philadelphia’s new best friends.

Isn’t it lovely to be needed?

Sure it is. But even lovelier than being needed is being able to mock mercilessly once the Phillies are eliminated from both the division and the wildcard. I, for one, will not be swayed by any amount of last-minute good will from our evil NL East rivals. Would I go as far as to encourage the Marlins to tank against the Mets this week? Absolutley not. Just play like you’ve been playing, fellas, and the rest will take care of itself.

That only leaves one tiny problem– what to do with all those gifts.

"We’re sending them to the Nats," Scott Olsen said, "except for the chocolate-covered cherries; those are mine."

The flowers and confections are being FedEx-ed to RFK Stadium, where the Phils begin a four-game series with the Nationals tonight. I, for one, can think of no fate worse than a post-season that includes the Philadelphia Phillies, and can only hope the Nationals will play with as much annoying fervor as they did when they faced the Marlins last.

For now, though, let’s enjoy the fake friendship.

Musicnote1_4 If I could turn back time,
If I could find a way,
I’d take back those words that hurt you…


  1. Chris

    Cool entry Kelly!
    I am watching the Met vs Marlins game right now. The Marlins really deserve to win tonight. Do you know if the Marlins are coming to Toronto next year? I wonder when the 2008 schdules come out.



    Hi Kelly – you may not remember me but I am the Met fan who visits your site when we play the Fish. I am the *nice* Met fan though 🙂

    Anyway, Fish played like warriors tonite. You should be very proud of your guys. My Mets? Played like cows….honestly , I had no real confidence that the Mets could beat the Fish anyway and your team did not disappoint me.

    Anyway, congrats on your win tonite. Me, I am crying !!!

    Good game though

    Lee Ellen

  3. Kelly

    Chris- Not sure if we’ll be in Toronto yet. Would be cool! All I know about next season is that we open at home against…yep, you guessed it–the Mets.

    Lee- Of course I remember you! It is difficult to forget people who read all the heinous things I have to say about NY, and still leave gracious comments on my blog. I did enjoy the win, but I would have preferred a little less drama. And I was hoping for a Phils loss to go along with it. But Oh well. Looks like you’re getting us back tongiht.

    mtaviano- A NICE Met fan is… please see above comment. To give you an idea of the Met fans I’m usually contending with, please see the SportsCenter highlight of a MET fan being escorted from Dolphin Stadium last night after throwing a baseball at a MET pitcher and slugging him in the arm.


    Thank you Kelly and I do appreciate you being gracious in return.

    As we discussed last time we met here on your blog (I think last time Mets played the Marlins), Olsen is one of my favorites. I don’t know, maybe I just go for the ones that really play the game with heart and no matter what he does off the field, he plays with heart on the field. I always root for him to do well and I think he will. He does have great stuff and I like his firey personality.

    I still am puzzled as to why the Marlins did not do better this year. They seem to have so much talent and honestly I think they have more drive and passion than alot of teams. I still like Olsen as one of may favorites though – just do not know why 🙂

    As for tonite’s game, if it goes the full nine, the Fish have a great chance to get back in – the Met pen wreaks – so it ain’t over till it is over.

    mtaviano, I understand where you are coming from. While I am a New Yorker, honestly I dispise New Yorkers and I have no problem when non-NYers point out our arrogance. I do not think I am that way at all though and I enjoy “meeting” people who are fans of other teams. I really mean no harm. Kelly is quite funny and I enjoy her blog and I like her views – yes, even about New Yorkers. She has very good points. And her example of the Met fan last night chucking something from the stands at Heilman was beyond anything I could ever stomach myself. Kelly is spot on with her assessment of New York fans.

    Enjoy the rest of the series. Kelly, nice talking with you again. You are great.

    Lee Ellen

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